You’re Engaged!! Now what?
Now that your relationship has made the jump from dating to engaged, let’s go over what you two should be discussing before any solid wedding plans are made. Everything can happen SO fast once you’ve made the decision to marry your favorite person in the world, there are some pitfalls that we want to prevent you from going through. This blog falls along the same lines as our ~Four Considerations for Your Wedding Venue~ blog, but this one focuses more on the discussion with your Fiancé, the aforementioned blog goes into more detail on these topics.
Type
This should be the first topic out of the gate; you want a small intimate wedding with only close friends and family, your fiancé wants a huge blow out event with everyone they’ve ever met there to experience it with you both. This is one that you can find middle ground in, discuss why you each want what you want and plan the wedding from those desires. A great skill to develop for marriage is to go into your disputes with the goal that there should never be a winner and loser, you have to find a common middle ground so you are both winners in this decision. Start your marriage off with a celebration that you both completely enjoy.
Location
Do you want to have a destination wedding, or a home town wedding? Should you discover you are at odds with your fiancé; a pro and con list here is a good way to find a solution. Travel distance for the most important guests, budgeting, what vibe you want, etc. will all play a big role in making this decision.
Budget
Knowing what you are both thinking in regards to the budget for your wedding is a big deal. You can of course compromise on this with relative ease, but the conversation needs to happen before any real wedding preparations can begin. Our team has another blog post ~Wedding Planning and a Budget~ that you should check out if you want more detailed information on how to build a budget. Also check out Wedding Planning on a Budget for information on areas that do and don’t need to be prioritized for a great day.
Theme
This one isn’t a make or break because there is a lot of flexibility in themes, but it is a really good idea that you both agree on the overall theme for your wedding. If one of you wants Harry Potter and the other wants a Grand Ball, that will be a bit more difficult to navigate and should be discussed well in advance.
Additional tips to make the day special for both of you:
Little gifts for the morning of the wedding or night before are wonderful. Decide if you should do letters, gifts, a song, pictures, scrapbook, whatever you want; make it as unique as your love!
There are a lot of comments that fly around about the Groom’s only job being to show up and say “I Do”, I think we should give our Forever Squeeze more credit! The wedding day is just as important to the Groom as it is to the Bride, he should be sought out for insight and opinions on the décor, theme, venue, favors, and vendors. He might not be interested in actually planning, but making him feel included and his opinion valued will be greatly appreciated.
Your wedding is the first day of the rest of your lives. We want it to be perfect and memorable; however, do not let the stress and anticipation of the day cloud the fact that your dream is to spend the rest of your life with this person, and this is simply the first day of forever. Learn to work through issues, compromise, and find value in each other's views and opinions throughout this process.